“I wish
y’all dads were here…” is what
she mumbled under her breath. Those 6 words penetrated me heart like a hot,
sharp knife. In that instance, I realized I had been convicted by God’s
correction.
Godly
conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit. Through the Holy Spirit, the person
is shown his or her true self: guilty, defiled, and totally unable to save
themselves (definition taken from Christian Apologetics & Research
Ministry). The feeling isn’t a condemning feeling; however, it is a heavy one.
Picture it this way, have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and was
like “ugh…I look a mess!” Well, that’s what godly conviction does for us. The
Holy Spirit reveals to us the mess inside, the places we can’t see.
So
why am I going on a spill about godly conviction? Glad you asked, I’ll explain.
I
was at the library deep into one of two exams for college. My brain was already
half mush but I knew I had to press on. As I’m getting into the groove of the
test, this young lady and I believe 2 to 3 children, came and sat next to me.
The oldest child had to be around 4 years old. The minute she sat, her little
ones started making all kinds of noises. I mean screaming, yelping, and…just
noisy. I puffed a few times under my breath, giving her and the kids a bit of a
side-eye.
One
minute she’d tell the kids to stop, sit down, and be quiet. The next, she just
let them run rampant around the computer lab. A librarian called from her desk
telling the young woman that she needed to quiet her children down. The young
lady calmly responded, “Okay, I’m sorry.” I guess she didn’t see her little one
crawl under the table and shut her computer down. The young woman breathed in
heavily, snatched her kids and whisked off to the bathroom. I breathed with a
sigh of relief cause I thought surely they were gone...now I can have some
peace and quiet. I sent a text to my husband expressing my frustration over the
woman and her noisy kids. As soon as I hit send, she returned to the same spot…with
her children.
I
tried tuning them by putting my headphones in. Nothing worked. Those children
were loud. Finally, another librarian said, “Ma’am, it’s not fair to the
computer lab and the whole library that your children are so noisy. If you can’t
quiet them down, then you will have to leave.” The words she said next
started the process of searing my heart. She said, “I’m sorry sir. I am trying to
complete this application for a job and I really need to finish it. I’m almost
done. I am so sorry.” She then turned to me and said, “I’m sorry” with a hurtful smile. That’s
when I heard her mumble “I wish y’all dads were here.” I’m pretty sure only I
heard it because she said it so low.
Guilt
seeped through my pores! I asked the young woman if she wanted me to take her
children walking while she completed her application. I explained that I didn’t
want her to get kicked out before she got a chance to finish it. She looked up,
smiled, and said it was okay but she was just finishing up.
I
walked out of that library with my face in my hands. Not only had I passed
judgment on this woman for being careless and inconsiderate bringing her
children to the library, but I completely misinterpreted what I saw. Through
the lenses of my carnality, I allowed myself to view this woman as I’m sure
other people in the library did. And that’s why God’s conviction was so strong.
You
see, when we choose to step back, and look through the lenses of the Holy
Spirit rather than our own, we tend to see things from a different perspective.
Instead of a woman just dragging her children into the library to get on social
media, I should have seen a woman who was trying. A woman who may have been
broken and trying to mend those pieces back together. A woman who, instead of getting the side-eye,
could have used some encouragement or a comforting word.
God
takes His commands seriously and when we choose to disobey them, He sends His
conviction. Psalm 82:3 says, “Give justice to
the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute” (New Living Translation). I don’t know
this woman’s marital status, but she was in need at the moment and I failed to
act when the opportunity was presented.
As
Christians, we are not exempt from correction. As a matter of fact, because we’ve
been made alive in Christ, we ought to be even more aware of when we’re doing
wrong. But should the time come when we get beside ourselves (as I did), God
has a stern, but loving way of reeling us back in and making us face our
wrongs. I hope this message encourages you to allow the Holy Spirit to help you
look through different lenses as you observe those around you. You never know when
someone may need your help or encouraging word. Blessings!
“As you
endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as His own
children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If
God doesn’t discipline you as He does all His children, it means that you are
illegitimate and are not really His children at all. For our earthly fathers
disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s
discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in His holiness. No
discipline is enjoyable while it is happening---it’s painful! But afterward
there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained this
way” (Hebrews 12:7-8, 10-11, New Living Translation).
