What If...Part Six: Your Wardrobe is Outdated!!!

Clean Up Time!!

So about a week or so ago I went through my wardrobe, a task that I'm surely not fond of. Clothes were everywhere...hanging off hangers for dear life, bulging out of the already tight bundle of clothes, or discreetly tucked away...way, way, in the back.  When I pulled some them out, surprisingly so (well maybe not so much), little dry rot holes had begun to form.  Other clothes I had long forgotten about.  And yet others had "magically shrunk" because I just couldn't seem to fit them anymore (whistles in the air o_O).  The deeper I went into the jungle of my closet, the more I realized many articles of clothing were outdated!  Overwhelmed, I trudged forward with the duty.  I could no longer tolerate the appearance of a mess that represented my closet...or for that matter, that represented me.  So I cleaned up!

Can You Say, Custom Fitted??

It was around the same time I cleaned my sty of a closet that I came across this scripture in my devotional time...Colossians 3:9-14 (MSG) "Don't lie to one another.  You're done with that old life.  It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire.  Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe.  Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with His label on it.  All the old fashions are now obsolete.... So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline...And regardless to whatever else you put on, wear love.  It's your basic, all-purpose garment.  Never be without it."  I was actually quite floored. 

Out with the Old, In with the New

For one, how funny God can be at times to strategically tie in an unlikely real life scenario to a biblical principle.  God is awesome!  But what really had me in awe was the fact that as Christians...we tend to treat our new way of life the same way we do our closets.  We recognize there are some ill-fitting, way too small, outdated clothes tucked away in our closets.  But we think to ourselves "I'm gonna lose the pounds to get back into those!"  Or "geesh those looked really cute on me!"  Or "I spent way too much money on those to give/throw away!"  We all have had those inner turmoil conversations.  And in our Christian lives we want to hold on to unforgiveness because "well you just don't know what she did to me."  Or "one lie won't hurt!"  We think that if we can just hold on to these old life tendencies for a while longer, we'll gain some benefit from it.

Shameful Truth Indeed...

But the truth is, the only thing we'll gain is a life full of more misery, sin, chaos, and separation from God. Ephesians 4:22 (NLT) says "THROW OFF your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.  Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. PUT ON your new nature, created to be like God---truly righteous and holy." (emphasis mine).  When we accept Jesus Christ into our lives, that acceptance comes with a brand new, custom-made set of "clothing."  Every stitch and every fiber has Jesus Christ's label and stamp of approval on it.  God paid a high price to ensure we get the best fitting, best looking clothes ever (1 Corinthians 7:23 NLT)!! That price was paid by the sacrifice and blood of His Son, our Savior Jesus Christ.

Those New Clothes Look Good on You!!

So my brothers and sisters...let go!  The ill-fitting clothes of our sinful nature can and will never have a place with God.  Hand over unforgiveness in exchange for reconciliation. Pride for humility.  Depression for joy.  Though it may take some time getting used to the new fit, I assure you it'll fit and suit you nicely as you strut with quiet confidence.  God loves us more than anything and He desires that we represent Him to the fullest...and looking sharp doing it!  Be blessed =)

Random...But Painfully True Thought...

For a couple of weeks I've been doing one of the YouVersion Bible app plans.  I love the diversity of those plans and how in-depth some are.  I chose a plan from someone I had never heard of before...Jennie Allen.  The name of her plan is "Discover God's Dream For You."  That plan was the catalyst that set some wheels in motion in my life.  If you choose to read that plan, you won't be disappointed!  

Well, in reading this plan, some real, but hurtful truths came up about my relationship with God.  I was pressed and compelled to visit those truths because I desire to grow more in my relationship with Him.  I don't want to just have a "head knowledge" of who He is.  But like many, I'm sure, I want to know more of Him.  His heart.  So I went there.  And what I learned was hurtful but true indeed.

It's become so easy to speak things from our mouths that we give no true regard to.  We don't realize the weight that those words carry.  Because, well they sound good, right?  They are strong enough to convince others that we have "arrived."  That we're "so deep."  Then God strategically places something in our path that makes us confront every word we uttered about Him.  He causes us to see the shallow spots in our "confessions."  That's what happened to me.  

Now my relationship with God has grown tremendously over the years.  I've shared on some of my blogs how God delivered me from some painful experiences and saved me from death and myself. But this new exposure was something different.  How far am I willing to go when I say "I need God more than anything?"  How much do I really love God above all else?  Am I really, for real seeking Him or am I subconsciously deceiving myself to thinking this?  Now I know some may read this and say "wow, chill out...it's not that serious!"  But to me, it is!  

I don't have working knowledge that God is real to me.  I KNOW He's real!  He's an invisible God that has been throughout my life before my life was ever etched into existence. I've been brought to this crossroad because I feel that God is wanting more of and from me.  Not to make my life miserable here on earth.  But rather the opposite...to bring abundance of joy, peace, love, and prosperity.  That all has to come with a price though.  Complete and total surrender and dependence on Him.  That's extremely difficult for the majority of us...even the most devout of Christians. Because let's face it, we love our families.  We love our homes.  We love our jobs (well some of us). And the love list goes on and on...We relentlessly chase after those things which will one day tear up, wear out, be destroyed or somehow taken away from us.  But the things of God lasts for eternity. That's what He's calling for us to strive for.  For eternity.  And that's where my frailty lies.

I became torn this morning at that thought.  "God I haven't surrendered my all to You.  I've given You lip service when You desired my committed heart."  Now that I've been exposed to this truth, I'm accountable for what I do with it.  God is a gentleman and He won't force Himself on us.  He gives us an option to serve and love Him with all of our hearts, souls, and strength (Deuteronomy 6:4,5).  Regardless to what comes out of our mouths, God looks past that and straight at the heart. For it's the heart that He searches and knows(1 Samuel 16:7; Jeremiah 17:9,10).  He knows when we are only speaking to "check the block."  Isaiah 29:13 says "And so the Lord says, “These people say they are mine.  They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote." (rote meaning mechanical or habitual repetition of something learned).

I want to encourage you by the truth I discovered about myself.   In one aspect, it's a big "OUCH" but in another it's something to be thankful for because God loves us so much that He's willing to help us in our frailties and weaknesses.  Take the truth of whatever it is God reveals to you and act on it.  Change won't and doesn't come over night.  But as Proverbs 3:5, 6 says, trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart and lean NOT on YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.  Seek wisdom for how God might usher you into a deeper understanding of yourself and your unique relationship with Him.  Stay encouraged and be blessed! :)

What If...Part 5: What are You Worth!

Definition, Please!

Do you understand it?  Do you even really know what it is and what it means?  Some people do.  But others truthfully, don't have a clue! I'm talking about how much you're worth.  I was one of the clueless ones.  For years, I fought aimlessly trying to forge my way into society.  To be accepted, respected, liked, and popular.  But of course when we set ourselves on a collision course with destruction----destruction is what we'll get.  It took what seemed like forever and a day for me to realize that those things didn't make me who I am.  Matter of fact,  those things...acceptance, respect and popularity were so far from what made me up. 

The Black Sheep, Yes! NOT!

I've always been deemed "the black sheep." Everywhere.  Home.  School.  Church. Everywhere.  It was when I reached the end of my ropes that I realized "hey, there has got to be more to me than this!"  And there was.  After a series of self-destructive events, I turned my sights on pursing and chasing after God.  I learned through His teaching that I'm far more worth what I even thought to give myself credit for.  I had defined who I was by the definitions laid out in society.  Of course to some degree, we're all shaped by our surrounding environment and social interactions.  But what I'm talking about is I had literally allowed society and "the world" to define ME!  Who I was and how much I was worth! 

Finally Comfortable...

Many years later, I can comfortably and confidently say that I'm not that girl anymore.  I still have my little bouts here and there (but hey I'm human and there will always be some sort of struggle). But I've learned and I'm still learning to lay my insecurities and frailties at God's feet.  Unfortunately, many girls and women lay their insecurities right into the hands of deeper trouble. 

We Are Worth More Than That...

We've grown so accustomed to handing over every dollar, down to the last cent, of our value and worth that it's become oblivion.  With every desperate move we make....inappropriate Facebook pictures, disrespectful, profane talk, inappropriate relationships, we lower the cost on our value.  We give others permission to purchase us for a cheap cost.  We engage in acts that we believe will boost us up in the eyes of others when really all it does is deflate our very character.  I'm speaking in this manner because I was "that chick."  I was her.  There is no bashing, judging or criticizing here. Only a cry for our girls and ladies to recognize one very important thing....WE ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW!  I can never be thankful enough to God through Jesus Christ for His healing, merciful hands that saved me from the destructive path I had set out on.  I am far from there but I know I'm healed in that area.  I don't wish to keep anything inward that I believe it could possibly help someone else.  My intent is that women of young and old would take these words and apply them to their lives.  Through a relationship with Jesus Christ we can and will be healed of the scars we etched onto our desperate souls.  Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation) says "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord.  "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." God has a beautiful plan for each of us.  But without properly understanding how He created us and how He sees us, we will constantly fail.  Luke 12:7 (New Living Translation) says, "And the very hairs on your head are all numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are more VALUABLE to God than a whole flock of sparrows" (emphasis mine).  I encourage you to read the verses above in that chapter to get the full picture.  Just like the cliche' saying goes, "God didn't create no junk!" There is no price tag to our value in God's eyes and shouldn't be in ours or others! 

We Are God's Best...Act Like It!

But my whole point in all of this is, God views us as His most prized possessions.  Yes we fall.  Yes we make mistakes.  Yes we take wrong turns.  Yes we fall into desperate measures.  Yes. Yes. Yes. With all of that included, God still VALUES us.  We are WORTH everything to Him.  I encourage you to evaluate the measure at which you value your worth.  If it's out of sync with God, get before Him and talk...yes talk to Him.  It's time to recoup those "lost funds" in your value and worth!! I'd love to hear your comments and thoughts.  Be blessed!

What If...Part Four: You Are Beautiful

Reflective Moments, Where it Started!

I kinda laugh at this now but I remember being a little girl always wondering why I couldn't be another race. I was raised in a poor, run down part of Florida.  My neighborhood was zoned to a predominately Caucasian school.  I'd look around at the girls there; look at their clothes, their hair, the way the dressed. Then I'd look down at myself (comparison at its finest at the age of 7).  I pretty much didn't like anything about me, the way I dressed or how I looked.  Things weren't better at home because of all of the verbal abuse I received.  An invisible scar was gouged into my spirit.

Are You Satisfied with Yourself?

As I got older, the scar grew.  I allowed myself to be consumed with appearances around me. I desperately tried whatever it took to be that "beautiful" image I always had in my head.  I'd look in the bathroom mirror (behind closed doors) and fuss at myself and God, asking why He had to make me with that size nose.  Why did my hair have to be kinky? Why did I have to have full lips...and the list went on.  Soon I was an adult carrying around those same damaging thoughts.  My heart and spirit were crushed from home, my own self infliction, people, everything.  I saturated myself in the images I earnestly studied in music videos, on television, and in magazines.  I had set myself on a collision course with destruction.

  

Bad Behavior=Bad Consequences

My behavior and conduct were reckless, out of control.  Like my story, there are many other teenagers and young girls out there who run aimlessly at superficial beauty.  It doesn't matter how well we put ourselves together on the outside.  If we do nothing about the deficit on the inside, we will just run around in circles.  Revlon, MAC, and Cover Girl can’t help in this case…but Jesus Christ can!

What I Know About Beauty

When I finally came to Christ, I learned of a different type of beauty...inner beauty.  I learned that God doesn't care about what we look like on the outside (though He does care about how we treat and manage our outside), but the heart matters most!  And mine was in shards! I had to learn all over how to see myself THROUGH THE EYES OF GOD! I had to learn to focus my mind on such scriptures as 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable BEAUTY of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." (emphasis mine).  And this one, Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceitful, and BEAUTY IS VAIN, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (emphasis mine).  And Psalm 139:14 "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  

God knows exactly what He’s doing in creating us.  He knew what we'd look like before we were ever conceived.  We will continue to wrestle with our flaws until we come to the truth of who we are in Christ. Only He can change our hearts and minds in such a manner.  My encouragement to you is that you will not allow the world to dictate what beauty is. Develop and strengthen your relationship with Christ.  And more importantly, share your story with others who need to hear your message of how you overcame.  I’d love to hear your story as well!  Be blessed!

What If...Part Two: Are You on Purpose?

Is There Really a Meaning?

Purpose.  Purpose.  Purpose.  If you're breathing, living, and reading this post then you too have probably incorporated this word into your thoughts concerning your life...your purpose here on earth.  I know I have.  I ran this thought in the ground.  Especially the times I’d look back over the last three decades of my life.  How could an African-American girl from the hood of Florida have anything to offer the world?  My world that I knew back then was shaken to its core...domestic violence, drugs, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, poverty-ridden living conditions...and the list goes on.  The only thing I had purpose for was to sit high up in my tree and dream.  Dream of why did I even exist.

Are You on Purpose?

Well, are you?  Some people would say yes.  But then others (many others) feel they were an accident their parents just happened to create.  In all the warped thinking that goes on in our minds about the purpose of our existence, we should be sure of one thing.  There is no way we enter into this earth, experience some of the things we go through, and then just get old and die.  Just like that....No, no, no.  There is a purpose! You, we are on purpose!  Because you see, God created us in such a manner that ties us all back to Him.  He created each of us for each other and to demonstrate His healing love.  It's through our experiences (some harsh) that God's love and compassion is reflected when we choose to activate our PURPOSE.  Jeremiah 29:11 says “I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and NOT harm you.  Plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE” (emphasis mine).  I'm not discrediting or reducing the severity of what some of us experienced. We all come from different walks of life.  But coming from one broken person to another, I can say with confidence that GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE AND ALL YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH!  He will use our existence and the things we've been through to help many others.  Our duty is to allow Him to do that!

In All Things!

Romans 8:28 is one of my absolute favorite scriptures in the bible.  It says "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his PURPOSE for them." (emphasis mine).  God isn't looking for us to have it together.  Nor is He wanting us to cover up and hide our pasts, faults, failures, frailties.  Ephesians 2:10 says "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."  Though God created us with His own hands and we messed things up through sin, He sent us His Son , Jesus Christ, so that through our rebirth we could go on and do what it is God PURPOSED us to do.

Fulfill Yours...

I don't know what it is God has planned for your life.  I’m sure there are tell-tell signs all around you. Developing a relationship with God and living out His will is the first step towards activating your PURPOSE.  Like the apostle Paul said...(paraphrasing) “forget what lies behind”...all of your failures and mishaps. And jump in or back into the race, and continue with determination to make your PURPOSE known.  There are people waiting on YOU!  I’ve jumped all in.  Will you?

I’d love to hear some of your thoughts.  Be blessed!!

What If...Part One: Beauty for Ashes

We've heard the phrase "Let God change your mess into your message"...but just go with me here..WHAT IF in the darkest, worst, most desolate places and experiences in your life, God had a plan for them? Well, He does! It's very difficult to understand & articulate with the human mind how some of the traumatic things we've been through in our lives could possibly be used for the healing, restoration, and liberation of others. 

The thing is, we are not here for our selves...and even though some of what we've been through we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies...it all sums back up to being for the glory of God. I'm no preacher nor bible scholar. But what I share is from personal experience. When we submit our lives..all of it, the good, bad, and ugly to God, He will most definitely make good use of it. He said that He would give us a crown of beauty for ashes, oil of joy instead of mourning (Isaiah 61:3). As difficult as it may seem, and I know from my own personal encounters, don't despise them. Use those experiences to receive healing and to bless others...bringing glory to God and truth of who He is. 

WHAT IF?

Be blessed today!

Around the Dinner Table

I had a bit of an epiphany tonight.  My family and I were having dinner and doing what we do best, laughing and "roasting" each other.  I realized in that moment that magic was taking place!  The memories that were being formed and etched into all of our minds.  I'm talking about the unfolding of the fabric that holds a family together.  

At the dinner table, everyone has a chance on the "floor" or in the spotlight, if you will.  The day's events unfold.  Teenagers reveal the latest gossip from school (well mine does anyway).  Life lessons are taught and learned. It's easy to get caught up in the stress of the day and forget about the important elements of a family.  Everyone has his or her own agenda...leaving what matters most out of that agenda...connection and communication.

I vividly remember from my own childhood sitting at the table with my three youngest siblings.  My mom was old school...she felt it was her right and earned privilege to sit and eat in the den rather than with us at the table.  Because I had no other family model to go by, I thought that was normal...that all parents did that.  But my siblings and I (3 girls and 1 boy, me being the oldest) found absolute amusement sitting around the table.  Instead of deep conversations, we plotted out the next fight and who it would be between.  Although it was funny and games, I never recalled a time when my mom actually took interest in wanting to sit at that table.

Looking over my life today, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I was taught and allowed myself to learn the importance of family dinners.  Almost each night I have the honor of sitting with my husband, 14 yr old daughter, 14 yr old sister-in-law, and 2 yr old daughter.  

There's always take aways from sitting at the table...whether it's a sore stomach from a good laugh, silence from a pondering mind, or just the comfort of being noticed, appreciated, and loved.  

I will only speak for myself when I tell you I see the results of moments like these.  Memories that's formed from such a simple act never fades away. 

Whatever that one thing is your family does, whether it's eating dinner together, having a family movie night, or evening walks...continue doing it.  By doing so, you establish trust, confidence, integrity and a host of other moral values in your family.  Trust me when I tell you the kids will appreciate it in the long run.

I'd love to hear some of your "table" moments with your family! Be blessed!!