Attitude is Everything!

So, it’s been a few days since I last blogged.  I tend to go through periods when I need to sit back and evaluate why I do what I do.  My motives behind everything.  And of course when I choose to do that, God in His amazing ways, shows me a kink in my armor.  Well, this time it was/is in the realm of my attitude.

Over the course of my adult life, I developed a nasty attitude.  But it wasn’t an obvious nasty.  It was what I’ve learned to be a “nice nasty.”  You know the kind when you can go off on someone in the kindest and calmest of demeanors and still slice someone’s head off?  Yeah, that’s nice nasty.  That was me.  It didn't matter how cute I looked, dressed, laughed or anything.  My attitude stunk! It took a lot of healing and restorations before I could even remotely come to a place where I no longer harbored that type of attitude.  However, after crossing one hurdle there’s always more.

Ephesians 4:29 (GW) Don’t say anything that would hurt another person.  Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.

My husband and I had a candid conversation this morning.  It was one that I wasn’t prepared for but needed to hear.  Like anyone else, I don’t like when my character is put on the scene.  It just does something to me.  But because my husband is more of a peacemaker and refrains the majority of the time from getting involved in spats with me, I just sat and listened.  His words were loving and piercing at the same time.  Loving because those words come from a good place, though piercing with conviction.  In a nutshell, my attitude still needs some fine tuning.  It’s one thing to know something already, but to hear it from someone else’s mouth adds an extra twist to the already painful pinch…get what I’m saying?

I got just a bit intimate with some details about my relationship with my husband for a very good reason.  You see, in the institution of marriage, God’s intents are to show the world what His relationship with us should look like.  Now of course there are many variables where marriage today looks nothing like what God intended, but I’m going to leave that there.  But in this case of attitude, we all could use a bit of help.

Proverbs 31:11-12 (NLT) Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Ladies, we’re not called to be the cookie cutter perfect wives to our husbands.  However, we are charged to respect them, honor them, safeguard and protect them.  We want our husbands to trust that they can come and talk to us…sometimes about some not so pleasant things.  We want to present to them through our attitudes, that we care enough to consider them and their feelings in the process of communication.  We can't expect our men to open up to us when every time they attempt we bite, chew, and spit their emotions out right in front of their faces.  Men included, we are all commanded as Christians to check our attitudes when dealing with each other…especially with our spouses.  Not only does a bad or negative attitude deflate and shut down every positive mood in the home, but it opens the doors for other unwanted influences.

There will be times when offense is unavoidable.  Regardless to how something is spoken, there will almost always be someone offended in the process.  But as a married couple, maturity of communication has to grow.  The attitude has to be checked at its onset.  Otherwise, all we do is welcome in everything else to take residence in our relationship.

We can’t change the other person, but we can make an effort to change ourselves.  A healthy marriage is a blessed one.  We can do this! And enjoy being married!!  =) Be blessed!!

James 1:19 (AMP) Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.

Trust. The. Process.

Proverbs 3:5,6 (NIV) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on yuor own understanding; in all your ways, submit to Him and He will give make your paths straight.

Since last night, I've felt like there was/is a huge weight on my chest.  My thoughts are all over the place.  When I woke up this morning, I wasn't in my usual peaceful solitude.  My mind was reeling.  Matter of fact, I don't even think it shut down while I slept.  Do I sound crazy?  Maybe.  But if you're like me...where God has shown you something and you become anxious.  He's shown you "dots" or "puzzle pieces" to what He wants you to do.  But none of the dots connect.  None of the puzzle pieces fit.  You wonder to yourself, "Lord, I'm doing all I know to do. Why am I not understanding any of this?"  If you can relate, just nod your head...because I'm sure that I'm not alone in this.

But see, here's the problem.  When God shows us something, we're ready to take off and run.  That extra surge of energy, adrenaline, motivation or whatever we choose to call it kicks in.  We jump head first into the direction we "think" God wants us to go.  However, many times through God showing us what He's calling us to do, a process follows.  And I'm not going to try to put on my bible scholar hat here.  Only tell from what's happening to me and hopefully we can all relate in this quandary of mine.  

Just because He has shown us a glimpse of something doesn't mean we're ready to embark.  Timing is everything. God has made everything beautiful in its time, a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1,11).   But He also knows that there are processes He  take us through necessary for our growth and preparation.  He knows we will never be perfect beings while living here on earth in this corrupted flesh.  However, we can be as blameless as possible.  **Insert**  Blameless by the way, does NOT mean we will be SINLESS, but that we will SIN LESS (Isn't God awesome). But it's on us to allow Him to make it happen. 

 Psalm 119:1 says "How happy are those whose way is blameless, who live according to the Lord's instruction!"

Above trying to immediately jump in and do what God has called us to do...well, because first, for starters, God wouldn't have called us and showed us bits and pieces of anything if He didn't see we were qualified.  He's known us from the before the beginning of our lives.  So there's no need of us trying to reinvent a wheel or somehow make ourselves dignified for the call.  Instead, we should humbly trust the process.  

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

It's not easy by  a long shot to wait on God.  And some of what He takes us through we'd rather find a way to go around it or skip it altogether.  But what I'm seeing is that the tests God brings me to are catered to what He has called me to do.  In this test, there's no "skipping the question." We say we trust in God.  We say we hold on to the faith we profess.  Well in doing so, lets understand this....God knows we will become weary in doing good.  Weary in the process.  Weary in the good fight.  However, because God is able, He will and does renew our strength, giving us wings to soar on like eagles (Isaiah 40:31).  He will allow us to reap a harvest if we don't give up (Galatians 6:9).

So what's the thing you struggle with?  Where do you find yourself becoming anxious in some of the things God has shown you?

Remove the Weights, Be Free!

You know, it's one thing when we allow the weight of a grudge, bitterness, unforgiveness, or resentment hold us down.  But it becomes a whole different issue when we allow those negative roots to seep into the lives of others.  

Choosing to forgive and let things go is a process.  A difficult one, especially if the offense is traumatic.  But when we choose not to forgive, it does more damage to just us.  

Think of a tree…how it's all pretty and grand on top of the ground.  As you begin to dig beneath the surface, you discover that tree's roots.  Depending on the tree, those roots can be as thick as the trunk on top.  They (roots) can run deep...so deep that it stifles the growth of other plants around it.  It sucks up all the nutrients necessary for life around it.  But yet and still, that tree stands firm, looking good, and not giving two thoughts about the damage it's causing to what's around it.

That's the same way we are when we give little to no thought about the damage we do to others around us when we harbor unforgiveness.  We say wrong things to people...even the ones we love.  We shoot deadly rounds out of our mouths, killing everyone we come in contact with. What's even worse is they never know what warranted the mistreatment.  When all along, it's something nasty and dark brewing on the inside of us.  Sucking our life, happiness, and peace away.

Some things I understand will take time.  Forgiveness is not an overnight fix.  But we have to make every effort to heal and allow forgiveness to take place.  "Well, you don't know what I've been through!"  You might say.  True indeed.  Neither do you know what I've been through.  However, I know the power of forgiveness.  I know that I have two choices.  One, stay bitter and slowly kill myself while the one who brought the offense lives life to the fullest.  Or, I can choose to free myself from being my own prisoner by forgiving and receiving healing. I’ll be transparent and say some things I’m not all the way there yet.  But with other things, I have been freed indeed.

None of us have all of the answers to why things happen to us the way they do.  But I know what the bible says and it says that we should forgive as our Father has forgiven us our sins.  We're not walking around here on entitled time...but rather borrowed! We can be here one minute and gone the next.  Don't let the time that we have at this moment be wasted on seeing how long we can hold a grudge towards somebody. 

Ephesians 4:31 (NCV) Do not be bitter or angry or mad.  Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others.  Never do anything evil.  Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.

Hebrews 12:15(NLT) Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God.  Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Family...Not Perfect...But Beautiful...And a Gift!

~~~~~1 Timothy 5:8(NCV) Whoever does not care for his own relatives, especially his own family members, has turned against the faith and is worse than someone who does not believe in God.~~~~~

So today was the day that will definitely go down in books for me.  Have you ever had an event, an experience, or a day to happen that was so awesome that you didn't want it to end?  Well, yeah that's what I had.  

For the past four days we've pretty much been snowed in from the Arctic temperatures that swept most of the east coast. Temperatures have plummeted and are still dropping into the negatives.  But today, my family and I didn't let that stop us from some much needed "spontaneous fun."  We decided to bundle up (in layers of course), puff our chests out, and brave the snow.  And boy was that a decision we absolutely DO NOT regret!!!

Snow balls, snow bombs, snow angels, snow fights, snowmen, you name it...we did it.  Everyone from my husband (oldest) down to our little bundle of joy (2yr old daughter) laughed and clapped our hands in happiness.  I tried capturing as many moments as I could on my camera...but aside from being blasted by snow bombs, I just wanted to look on through the lenses of my own eyes.  I wanted to gaze at the beautiful gifts God had blessed and privileged me with.  Those moments, though caught on camera, would only last temporarily.  But every memory I formed in my mind could never be erased or taken away from me.

To give you a tidbit of back story about me...I didn't have this.  The genuine, authentic, deep love wasn't there in my family.  Dysfunction, discord, and chaos pretty much had its say so.  I determined in my young mind that if I were to ever live to have a family of my own one day, that I would do my best to ensure that every member felt the love I so deeply kept within me.  And I've been doing just that.

~~~~~Psalm 103: 7 (But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who Him.  His salvation extends to the children's children of those who are faithful to His covenant...~~~~~

We aren't a perfect family.  We fuss and argue.  We have heated moments.  We work each other's nerves. But one thing we are learning is how to allow the love of God to saturate us and be displayed towards others.  

~~~~~1 John 4:16b (NLT) God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.~~~~~

So I leave you with this...love your family.  Don't just say you love them.  But really, really love them.  Love them through their imperfections.  Love them through their faults.  Love them through their frailties.  Thank God for each and every member of your family unit.  If you have children, enjoy and celebrate the uniqueness each one has.  And most of all...HAVE FUN!!!! Be blessed!!

~~~~~Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.  Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior's hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.~~~~~

**NOTE**I understand that not everyone has a "biological" family...and that's okay.  God is so amazing in His ways...He knows who we need and who needs us.  So embrace those you call family and who calls you family and consider yourself blessed also =)

Hot, Cold, or Nothing at All!

Revelation 3:15,16 (NLT) "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold.  I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!"

It was December 1999, and I landed in Germany, fresh off the plane.  I had just completed my training for the Army and my first duty station was Europe.  I was days from turning 19 and boy was I ready to celebrate!  I had no one telling me what to do (mother) or kids to watch after (siblings).  I was free and ready to live life!! It didn't take me long to navigate the culture and gain some friends to party with.  The culture was rich and diverse and I wanted to explore it all as well as party as much as I could. 

Back at home, I left a life of church and a pretty religious family.  But my mom, being a single mom, raised us with a tight rope.  We were sheltered from everything...no dances.  No get together with friends.  Barely any phone conversations with friends.  And much more.  So leaving not only my home, but the continental United States was liberating.  

One day, while at work, I was jamming to one of my favorite R&B groups at the time. This guy walked over to my desk.  I had heard of him, real spiritual guy.  And from some of the conversations I'd heard him in, I could tell he was also very straight forward.  Without hesitation, he sat at my desk (unwelcomed) and pulled his bible out of his bag and plopped open on my desk.  He turned to Revelation 3:15, 16.  He asked me to read it.  After looking at him for a minute like he was crazy, I read it and shrugged my shoulders.  Without skipping a beat his next comment/question was "If you die right now, where would you go heaven or hell?" What kind of a question was that?  He had some nerve!  He stared me square in my eye...and me matching his stare...I said with confidence "heaven!"  He went on to give me a sermon/lecture right there in the office...at my desk.  

Of course I couldn't have been more wrong in my entire life.  In ignorance and smug confidence I had no idea what I was talking about.  Knowing what I know now, there was no possible way I was ever going to heaven or anywhere close to it with one foot in the club of way and the other in the church.  

  I've been born again for some years now...but this blog came about as the result of one of my devotion lessons and me having flashbacks of my conversation with the gentleman.  What strikes me is that many people have the that same misconceived notion that I had back then... we can do what we want, live how we want and and as long as we believe in God, we'll go to heaven.  Now hear me out, I'm not here to judge anybody.  That's not my job.  I don't have a heaven or hell to put anyone in.  However, I can tell what the bible says and one can take it for what it's worth.

1 John 2:3-4 (NLT) "And we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments.  If someone claims, 'I know God,' but doesn't obey God's commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth."

Being a Christian doesn't exempt us from sin.  Being a Christian doesn't mean we grow wings and float above problems and issues.  Being a Christian doesn't mean we become saints and quote scriptures all day.  I could go on but I'm sure by now you catch what I'm saying.  Even as Christians, we will fall, stumble, make mistakes and sin.  However, the difference is when we make a constant effort to allow the sting of conviction to cleanse us from unrighteousness and continue in our pursuit towards Jesus Christ.  It took me many years and many failed attempts to realize that I was lying to myself.  The only thing that remotely reflected a life for Christ were my words.  

Matthew 7:16a (NLT) You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act...

Bottom line is we are either going to be hot or cold for God.  There are no grey areas in Him.  If you haven't done so already, let today be the day to decide that you will strive to be hot for God.  And know this, you will stumble.  You will trip.  You will sin. Because none of us are perfect.  Don't let that be a deterrent to your final destination.  We are in this together.  Be blessed!!  

Until Yet Comes...

Yet (adverb)- up until the present or a specified or implied time; implies an action for a future time. (Google Definition, 2015).

You know, this is going to sound funny..But I'm willing to share because I believe this will bless somebody.  

I'm a stay at home mom to a bouncy, energetic 2 1/2 year old.  One of her favorite television shows (and quite frankly our morning ritual) is Sesame Street.  Well, on one of the episodes, the singer Janelle Monae sang a song called "The Power of Yet."  It was (admittedly) very catchy and of course my baby girl loved it.  Thanks to Directv dvr (digital video recording), I was able to rewind, rewind, rewind.  Around the 3rd rewind, I realize I had I misunderstood what Janelle was saying.

Her words became clearer.  I thought she was saying "yes" instead of "yet." After the song went off, that was it.  Or so I thought.  One of the funny things about God is how He will use any situation to get our attention and teach from it...but the catch is, will we "catch" it?  I did.  It was a couple of days ago that I got taught yet another lesson.

The word "yet" is very common in our vernacular. I'm almost positive we don't hold any weight or thought to it.  But the more I studied it, the more the pieces of this puzzle began to come together. Yet saves the space for something to come.  That thing that hasn't happened yet but is on it's way.  For Christians, that's where our faith comes into play.  

Hebrews 11:1(AMP) "NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of the things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].   

Yet doesn't put the final "STAMP" on the sentence.  Yet leaves room for hope.  Hear me out, I understand that some people lose hope because the worst of the worst has happened or change seems like never.  But the truth is, yet makes room for development, change, and improvement.  I will definitely be the one to testify, attest, and be a witness to this.  

Many time I blog, it's out of an experience I've encountered or a hard lesson I had to learn.  This is one of them.  It's easy for us to confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and that His word is truth and stands forever.  It's easy until we are faced with something that blows tornado-like winds in our lives.  But what I've seen...   

1 Corinthians 2:9 (GW) "But as scripture says: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love Him."  

Every scripture implies that though things seem bleak, God has made everything beautiful for its appointed time.  Some things He withholds to teach us, test us, correct us, or train us.  It's in the word yet that keeps us going strong.  Holding on to the faith we profess.

I'll reiterate this, I've been through my share of heartaches, ups, downs, blows, disappointments and everything else...in the middle of something as I type.  But my encouragement to you as I encourage myself, is don't give up.  Allow God to help you build a stronger, firmer foundation of faith.  In the meantime...believe in the power of YET....be blessed!! 

                                                                                                                                                   

The Other Side of the Screen

First, I want to start by saying I know this doesn't fit the "typical" mold of a Christian blog.  If you choose to remove this blog from your community, I understand.  However, I feel you would be doing a huge disservice to someone who might can benefit from this.  I love God with all of my heart.  I am committed to living out loud for Him and carrying out His will & call for my life.  One of which is my cry for our younger generation.  Along with a host of statistical information on the influence social media has on teenagers, I also have first-hand experience.  This issue is dear to me not just for my two teenagers but for the many teenagers I see who sadly fall victim to the grips of social media drama and misguidance.  I pray you would follow me on this journey and spread the word.  If you have teenagers, get involved with their lives.  Be aware and knowledgeable of their activities on devices.  God bless!

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) Direct your children onto the right path,

and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Okay, so occasionally I'll get on my soapbox and rant about something...well the time has come again. Mothers...please don't think that by giving your daughters liberty and freedom that you are building bonds, instilling responsibility, and trust. Because nine times out of ten, you're not! Instead, you're enabling a breeding ground of trouble and a whole lot of drama! I am the mother of a 14 yr old (girl) and guardian to my 14 yr old sister-in-law. They are at the age where they think they know more and are smarter than their parents! Some people reading this may think it's not that serious...but that's why females are out there doing everything under the sun now...because "it's not that serious!"

I'm going to have access to ALL accounts (well right now neither has any social media accounts except Polyvore). I'm going to monitor their websites. Riddle them with "21" questions. Yes, I'm going to be that nosy parent! Why? Because they're teenagers! They don't qualify to have business! I can't keep them from everything. There will obviously be things they will have to experience for themselves in order to effectively learn a lesson. However, as a parent, God has given me a charge to raise them right...and I intend on doing that. They will have fun. They will be able to participate in events, go places, experience the teenage life...But I refuse to just think and believe that they got this on their own.

Psalm 127: 3-5 (NLT) Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.

Why did I say all of this? Because for one, I was that girl...the one who didn't receive the proper guidance about life and instead let life teach me. I was the one trying to follow ways I thought were right only to end up being so wrong. My husband and I have had to experience some rough situations with our girls...in efforts to get them to see that we see what's up the road they're trying to go down. I see foolery all the time on social media promoting this and that...they do it for attention, but that's not what's being interpreted by these girls out here watching this stuff. They out trying to mimic every detail of what they see. They obliviously place themselves in dangerous situations because there's no guidance.

Luke 10:34-35 (NCV)  Your eye is a light for the body. When your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But when your eyes are evil, your whole body will be full of darkness. 35 So be careful not to let the light in you become darkness.

Please understand that I am 100% aware that I can't and won't be able to keep my kids from everything. However, as long as I know I'm doing my due diligence, hopefully it will pay off when they become adults. This is geared to the mothers because we are where it starts with our girls. Warped women raise warped girls if we don't get it together with us first! Be in their business with "love" as your guide! Be blessed!!

*****TO THE YOUNG LADIES*****

So how does God see you? 

Ephesians 2:10 (AMP) "Even as [in His love] He chose you [actually picked you out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that you should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love." (emphasis & word replacement mine)

Residual Pain Hurts More...

I was on my way home this morning from dropping my daughter off when a heavy thought came to me. Once I pulled up to my driveway, the effects from those thoughts were so strong, I sat in my car and wept.  This is what was placed in my spirit...It's not the initial wound that does the most damage...but rather the residual of that wound...Especially if left untreated. Bandages, gauze coverage, make-up, clothing, status, etc only provide temporary soothing...The wounds & gaping holes of a broken soul can't be healed by human hands. There is and will always only be One qualified to perform such a task. God does more than heal, however. He restores everything and makes it all new...I only speak what I know. Try Him for yourself...no appointment required...only a believing heart. Be blessed today and refuse to live another day in deep, soul rooted pain. 

Psalm 34:18 (NLT) The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
Psalm 51:17 (NLT) The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.  You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

Thankful!

 I'm sitting here pondering on the adventure I took when I decided to do my "What If" series.  I stepped out on faith.  I took a leap, not sure if the bottom was under me.  But I made it...and let me tell you...I'm an introvert, so it takes a bit of a push for me to get the wheels going.  And they did!

I honestly didn't anticipate the amount of comments, responses, and interactions I received from my series! I mean people commented how those blogs were confirmations to something God had already placed in their hearts.  Others stated how they related to my posts.  Though I am very thankful, I have to give the credit to God.  Had it not been for Him to inspire my heart to such a task, I doubt I would've ventured out.  I'm trying to discover my "inner Peter," where when God tells me to step out on faith, I do...and NOT doubt! =)

Thank you all so much for giving me the opportunity to share with you and thank you for inviting me into your spaces.  This is MOST DEFINITELY NOT a closing to my blog...because boy oh boy do I have more in this noggin of mine.  My Father is filling my heart with so much inspiration and I can't wait to share it!

Until then...be blessed and be a blessing!  Happy Sunday! =)