Removing the Plank

Many times it’s not easy acknowledging our own flaws.  Quite frankly, we don’t want to so we don’t.  Because if we do, that places us in the spotlight.  

It places us on a platform of un-comfortability.  So instead of admitting our flaws, we point the finger or fingers at someone else’s.  We bash, criticize, judge, gossip, or straight run down that person’s character once their flaws are exposed.  We think that because they operate in a certain capacity that they’re to be perfect…flawless even.  But God is clear in His word when He says that we will be judged with the same measure of judgment we dish out on others (Matthew 7:1-2). 

We are all jacked up.  We are all in need of a Savior.  Whether we believe it or not, accept or acknowledge that fact…the truth remains that we all are flawed and all fall short (Romans 3:23 NLT).  It’s not always easy to own up to topics like this.  Because we prefer to project a squeaky clean image.  We cocoon ourselves from our reality and transform instead into a faced-type of life, giving that false impression for others to validate.

As I am in the midst of this learning this difficult lesson, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better to strive to live in peace with God and those around me and to be real with my own faults.  Not only recognizing my own frailties but working through the shortcomings of other people as well.  The bible says that it’s not only about our own interests but also the interest of others (Philippians 2:4-5).  We will all have to give a personal account to God for our actions…so we should decide to live in such a way to not cause another to stumble and fall (Romans 14:13).  And that includes bashing, criticizing, judging, and condemning. 

God doesn’t desire perfection from us…but willful excellence and devotion to Him through our lives.  So let’s go find some good tweezers, because we have some planks to pull out! 

Blessings! J

Who Are You NOT To Be?

I hadn’t heard of this quote by Marianne Williamson before the movie, “Akeelah and the Bee.”  I am all for good quotes, but it’s the ones oozing with volumes of hidden lessons and meanings that catches my attention.  Eventually, I found the rest of the quote and printed it out. 

I misplaced that it years ago, but lately a piece of it has resurfaced in my mind…the part that poses the question “but who are you NOT to…?” You know how sometimes you’re in a certain place in your life where you find things that are significant for the moment, but that “fizz” eventually dies down?  Well that’s what happened to me with that quote.  It wasn’t until about a few days ago, actually, that I began thinking about it again.  As I found it on Google and reread it, a sad reality hit me.  Marianne wrote that quote over 20 years ago in her first book, “A Return to Love.”  I don’t think she knew just how much of a deep impact those words have made over the years and even now.

But the reality I came to is that many of us today live our lives in a minimized state.  We minimize ourselves, our thinking, our talents, our gifts, and our abilities.  For many reasons, but the main one being fear.  This four letter word has been the robber, culprit, and common denominator of many people’s dreams.  We’ve been held captive, petrified to take that step into destiny.  Instead, we’ve controlled and control ever move we make just to appease the menacing presence & voice of fear.  We’ve allowed fear to convince us into thinking that we’re not worthy of our talents and that our presence will never measure up in the eyes of the world.  But as the quote says, who are we to NOT think so?

1 Peter 4:10 (NLT) God has given each of you His great variety of spiritual gifts.  Use them well to serve one another.

Each one of us is equipped with talents and gifts that ONLY WE can distribute to the world.  Many of us are on the cusp of entering into destiny…what we’ve been placed here on earth to do.  We can’t allow our own defeated conversations, the criticisms and judgments of others to keep us from fulfilling our role.  1 John 4:18(KJV) says “There is NO fear in love; but PERFECT love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.  He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” (emphasis mine).  This scripture isn’t saying that our love is to be perfect, because of course, we aren’t!  What it’s saying is once we recognize the One whose love IS perfect, we can rest in that perfect love and move forward in confidence.  The scripture pointed out something interesting…”fear hath torment”….How many of us wrestle with being tormented by fear? (Hand raised) I’ll be the first to admit.  Day in and day out, we know there’s a greater purpose for our lives, but we submit ourselves to the torturous effects of fear.  That’s not God’s intent at all!

I want to encourage whoever reads this to know that you are worth something.  Your talents, gifts, and abilities are important and needed.  God has designed you…and ONLY you to carry out His good will for His kingdom.  So begin today with the intentional decision to own up to your call and move in the perfect love of God and fulfill your destiny.  Be blessed!

*******Here are more encouraging scriptures I use daily in this process:*******

Romans 12:2

Proverbs 18:21

2 Corinthians 10:4,5

Show Them Who They Are Through You...

Before I dive in, I want to say two things:  THIS IS LONG…and that I will be speaking on content that is, I guess, not commonly talked about.  But I think that’s where the problem lies.  We don’t talk enough about the right things! I've found that many (not all) people are one of three extremes:  the hard left (too out of touch to talk about real life), the hard right (too busy trying to be like everybody else) or neither (because they’re in denial).  But when someone discusses something of sense and importance, it’s overboard, boring, too much or whatever.  (Shrugs shoulders) Oh well…I’m talking anyway.

So I have two girls.  One well into her teenage years and the other, fresh into toddler-hood.  My baby has pretty much grasped being potty trained (yay, thank God, no more pampers)!! Now, I’m working on teaching her the proper way to wipe.  Bless her heart, she’ll eventually get it…In this process though, I was lead to some thoughts.

Growing up, I was taught very little on the proper way to take care of myself and successfully enter into womanhood.  My mother was more of the threatening type than the helping type.  Just about everything I inquired about warranted a harsh response from her.  Because of her neglect to teach me, I endured very painful, embarrassing incidents throughout life.  Through the years, I learned from other women, research, and experience of how to take care of myself and what it meant to respect myself.

As women raising daughters or being a woman of influence in a girl’s life, it’s vital that we teach them how to successfully transition from girl to woman.  Anyone reading this know, growing up there was that one girl or person we saw in magazines, music videos, or movies that we just “had” to be like.  #Truth, I just KNEW I was Aaliyah!  I knew ALL of her dances moves, songs, her bio, everything!!  We all go through it.  Cool.  A part of growing up.  I get that.  The problem develops when there are no talks about being true to who we are, value, worth, boundaries, and standards.  The problem develops when women neglect to pour into their girls, nuggets of wisdom and knowledge.  So that when those same girls grow up, they won’t be so quick to follow after the trends, lower their standards, or subtract from their value.

Even if we don’t want to, we can’t help but see and know what’s going on out there in social media world.  The only way to not know is live under some rocks.  Every single day, girls are involving themselves in some stupid “challenge” or participating in dangerous behaviors just because of who they see on television. Celebrities on television display some of the most asinine behaviors and start trends…Guess who’s here in the “real world” following suit?  Yep, you guessed right…OUR girls.  Thigh gap.  Big lip challenge.  Misbehavior.  And I’m sure the list goes on...

I’m not saying we’ll be able to catch every little thing.  Because even my daughter has gotten caught up in the hype.  However, I believe the reason why she hasn't gone completely out there, is because of what we teach her at home.  Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says, “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  Repeat them again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”  This isn't a suggestion, but rather a command given to us as parents, women, mentors, or any level of influence, to point our children in the right direction through Christ.  Because our girls are looking at us…LADIES!  They are looking for the standard.  It has to start with us.

Okay, I know some of you reading this are like “dang, it’s not that serious!”  “Let them grow up! They have to learn!”  “Weren't you once a teenager?”  Well here’s my answer: Yes, it is that serious. Weeds grow wild and eventually are plucked up and destroyed.  And yes I was a teenager, THAT’S why I’m sending out this message!  In that order!!  Look, I get some will not agree with what I’m saying.  And that’s totally fine.  However, I’m not going to sit around and be hushed face because the matter is serious!  Girls are succumbing to the grips of the world and it’s on us to make a difference!  Men, if you’re reading this, I encourage you to jump on the bandwagon.  But I will say that the buck eventually stops at some point because a man can NEVER teach a girl how to be a woman (and vice versa).  Give her tips, advice, suggestions, yes I’m all for it.  But women, grown women need to rise up!  Titus 2 gives a charge for the older women to teach the younger women how to live, treat their husband and children.  Before they can ever reach that level, they must first learn how to be women.

I know this was long…and I really appreciate you staying with me to the end, but I really would like for you to think about the influence you have in a young lady’s life…whether you are that young girl’s mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, or just an authority/mentor figure in her life.  Talk to her.  Learn her.  Understand where she’s coming from.  What’s going on in her life.  Because if you don’t, someone else will…and you’ll regret the day you missed your opportunity.  Be blessed!!

The Bags Gotta Go!!

I was exposed to sexual content at an early age.  I was verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by the adults in my life.  My earliest memory of being called stupid, ugly, and a no good was probably around the age of 6 or 7.  Nothing I did was ever good enough.  The attention I craved, I didn't get because the people around me didn't know how to give it.  As I grew up, I drifted in and out of relationships, desperately seeking someone to love me the way I deeply craved.  I allowed men to use me because I wanted that affection.  While all of this was going on on the outside, on the inside I collected tons of baggage and strongholds that were killing me.  I lived in the realm of deep fear of rejection.  It was difficult to think of myself in any other way other than what was already imprinted in my soul...that I was ugly, stupid and good for nothing.

I grew up into a young woman.  Becoming a mom at 19 to a man I only knew for 3 months.  I was scared to death.  How could I raise this child when I didn't know how to parent? I went back and forth with the idea of aborting the child.  But something just wouldn't allow me to do it.  So I gave birth to a little girl.  I discovered a love for her that was deeper than I had ever felt!  I wanted to protect her from everything I had ever experienced in my life.  Throughout me raising her, I slipped up and turned deeply back into sin.  I was in the Army.  I was married to my daughter’s father.  A broken woman, wife, mother, soldier, with a ton of baggage that was starting to wear me down. 

Years later, I divorced my daughter's father.  Went into a deep depression, and nearly lost everything.  I had always had a working knowledge of God because I grew up in church.  But this God I knew, I thought was so, so far away from me...and that He would never come to my rescue.  Why would He let me go through all of this?  I remember being in my apartment in 2010 crying out to Him.  Not only did He answer, but let me know He was always listening!  His love overwhelmed me but I still fought.  It felt foreign to be loved like this so I kept running.  Until 2013, when I couldn't run anymore.  God sought my heart and I gave it to Him.  I hope He knew what He was in for, lol!  But my God is big and mighty and can handle the worst of hearts! 

I presented Him with all of my baggage and I’m discovering there's more baggage I have to give to Him.  In my humility and great awe, I constantly humbly bow down to my Father and surrender all to Him.  I am here to tell you IT IS BECAUSE OF MY FATHER, GOD AND ONLY BECAUSE OF HIM that I am even able to sit at this computer and confidently share a part of my story. 

God has plans for those bags.  He says for us to come to Him all who are weary and heavy burdened and He will give us rest (Matthew 11:28).  He wants to share in our struggle.  Better yet, He wants to take ON our struggle.  We all have luggage, baggage, tough boxes full of stuff.  No matter what decisions we made in life, I encourage you to know that God knows and He loves you too much to let you walk out the rest of your life carrying those things.  Allow Him to take over those things that weigh you down so you can begin again in Him!  I pray my story encourages you because our story is really a part of HIS-STORY!  Be blessed!!

Don't Go Back to the Pit!!!

We used to go to the country side a lot in Florida.  Okay, I know what you’re thinking…what country in Florida?  But trust me, where I grew up, the country was never too far away.  The home we went to sat behind a corn field.  We always knew when we were close because of the ripe stench of poo in the air. Somehow we were related to the people whose house we went to…but at 10 years old, all of the details didn’t matter.  Just the fact that we were going to have some fun on a farm.  However, every time we’d go, somehow I’d always get put in charge of feeding the pigs.  Yuck!  Pigs, really?!  So I trudged out to the pig sty only to watch them wallow relentlessly in the mud.  It was like a competition to see who could get the dirtiest.  Then after wrestling around in the pit, the pigs would lay in satisfaction basking in swarming flies.  Ahh, good times.

1 John 1:9 But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

What brought that memory back to me was a thought I had a couple of days ago.  About how we as Christians, get cleaned up and brand new on the inside…but because of the familiarity of our sinful natures, sometimes we go wallowing back in the sty of sin.  I think sometimes being in the midst of our filth is more comfortable to us than the new, uncomfortable feeling of “living right.”  I mean, think of the pig…or let me use an example that many of us probably have seen…a dog.  When a dog gets washed, nice and clean, smelling fresh and good…what’s the first thing it runs for when released?  If outside, the dirt or grass.  Why?  Because that’s its nature.  That’s what it is used to.  Dirt.  Filth.

Jeremiah 33:8 (NLT) I will cleanse them of their sins against me and forgive all their sins of rebellion.

There were issues God revealed to me about my own ways.  My attitude.  My thoughts. Just filthy.  Okay, not in “that” way but filthy as in “nice nasty.”  I’d cut a person into shards without them even knowing it.  Here’s the kicker, just because a sin isn’t known publically, doesn’t mean it’s not known in secret…because of course God knows all.  And here it was, I didn’t WANT to get rid of my attitude.  I didn’t FEEL that my thoughts hurt anyone.  Oh how I was wrong.  Because see every time I chose sin over God, I put more distance between He and I.

2 Peter 1:9 (NCV) But anyone who does not have these things cannot see clearly.  He is blind and has forgotten that he was made clean from his past sins.

By nature we are ALL sinners.  Daily we have to fight to maintain our salvation and deliverance.  That’s what the Apostle Paul makes clear in Galatians 5:16-17.  There will ALWAYS be a struggle between our old and new selves.  However, there is a difference between that and WILLFULLY returning to our sinful natures…or “the pig sty.”

Galatians 5:17(NLT) The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants.  And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires.  These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.

This is the bottom line…nothing is hidden from God.  We all have to fight daily to not return to the sty of sin.  Temptations come and will continue to come.  People will work our nerves.  Situations will flop.  We will get disappointed.  The list goes on and on.  In all of that, we STILL have the choice to decide what we choose…to maintain our salvation OR return to the pit.

Which will you choose?

How She Sees Herself Matters

Growing up, I faced many challenges.  First, I grew up in very poor conditions in Florida.   My family was dysfunctional on almost every level. I suffered verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse from family members and struggled greatly in school.  I grew up nurturing the stigmas that had been attached to me...that I was stupid, ugly, not good enough, would never amount to anything, etc.  Because of those negative seeds that took root in my soul, I began acting the parts. I did my best to fit in but in ways that would later hurt me and cause years of battles and struggles.

For years, kids have struggled to fit in.  That's nothing new.  But what I see going on today places an insurmountable amount of stress and pressure on teenagers, especially teenage girls. 

Society now has deemed that brains and beauty don't mix.  Rather, the way she looks, how well endowed she is, her clothes, personality, etc...those things matter.  And in many cases, girls dumb themselves down so they can be seen as more appealing and attractive.  They lower their own standards to suit their yearning to fit in.  Statistics show that girls between the ages of 10-14 begin to show signs of low self esteem.  In their minds, they equate being pretty with how big breasts, behind, and hips are, how one dresses, how long or pretty one's hair is, how facial features look...and the list goes on. 

I see it all the time.  Girls taking hundreds of "selfies" and posting them to social media sites. Desperately seeking validation through others comments and likes, totally disregarding the fact of how (excuse me) ridiculous they look.  

The majority of time, the need to be accepted becomes so overwhelming until girls will do whatever it takes to feed that growing monster.  Giving herself up, using and abusing herself...all for the need of justifying her actions and growing desire for attention.  

The biggest mistake we make as parents is overlooking, ignoring or blowing off those signs.  We obliviously keep ourselves in denial because we feel our kids will never step out of line in that manner.  Well, that's where we're wrong.

Parents, please hear me.  Most of you probably know this, but I'm saying it anyway.  Learn and know your teenage girls.  In most cases, a teenage girl won't talk to her mother about issues she's facing.  More than likely, she'll try to cover them up.  But with diligence and good observation, tell-tell signs still have a way of being discovered.  Watch for those signs. Be nosy.  If you bought your teenager a phone or any technology source, you have ALL rights to it until they move out of your house (and in some cases you still have the rights).  Check social media sites, ask questions. 

Now I know what you might think..."Well does it take all of that?" "Is it that serious?" "They're teenagers! They need freedom and space to grow and become who they're going to be!"  Got all of that, but what do you say when you find out your teenager is having sex just to keep her boyfriend?  Or she's developed some bad habits just to fit in and be accepted?  Would you still feel the same?

I'm not suggesting we smother and shelter our children.  We can't protect them from everything.  Life is inevitable and things are going to happen. However, we are our kids first teachers.  We are their first role model, first counselor, first date, first friend.  If we allow our children to be taught by the streets, the streets is what they will turn to.  And we need to watch our own actions.  Children watch us when we think they're not paying attention.  In those moments are the greatest lessons taught.

Our children need us...especially our teenage girls.  Understand, learn, and educate yourself on what's out there and be proactive.  Don't wait for something to happen and then react.

Does your daughter mean that much to you?  She should...mine does! 

Stepping Out of Normal...

I grew up terribly shy.  I tried to the best of my ability to stay “normal.”  I did everything to appear normal, especially to my family.  But in my seemingly failing efforts, I knew deep down inside that I was different.  Externally, everything around me screamed normal, below average even.  Statistical data had already painted my life out for me.  Because I was an African American girl raised by a single mother in a dysfunctional home in a poverty-stricken part of Florida, with siblings that were technically my “half” siblings…I was to drop out of high school, have a child not long after dropping out, working at a low end job, having no goals or aspirations for myself, and living below societal standards.  But something in me wouldn’t allow that to happen.  Even through witnessing and experiencing things no child should ever have to, I felt something deep inside me, telling me that I was not normal. That there was more to life than where I was. 

Against the odds, I graduated high school (a few points shy of graduating with honors, darn algebra), enlisted into the U.S. Army, where I had the honor of serving my country for 14 years with multiple deployments.  I was awarded several awards, coins, and medals for my service.  I became a homeowner, owned my own vehicle, got married, and had a beautiful daughter.  I defied the odds.  But somehow I still felt I had conformed to something.  I still felt…normal.  Please continue to follow me here…I promise there’s a point to all of this. 

Having accomplished all of what I did, there was still a deficit.  On the other side of my accolades were turmoil, depression, stress, recklessness, and self abuse.  I played Russian Roulette with my life.  I fought aimlessly to be seen, to be noticed, and to be loved. It wasn’t until one unforeseen event after another took place, including a divorce from my daughter’s father that I realized something was wrong and if I didn’t get a grip, I would lose. 

In desperation, I came to Christ.  I ran from Him for so long and I wasn’t sure He even wanted me anymore.  But boy was I mistaken.  He wanted me, ALL of me.  The good.  Bad.  Ugly. Tore up. Me.   In seeking more of God in my life, I learned that His children AREN’T normal.  We are His “special” children, peculiar some translations describes it.  (1 Peter 2:9).  Even in my times of living life without God, I always felt His presence.  I couldn’t articulate it but I always sensed that something was different about my life.  And there was.  He was calling me.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think…

Some of you reading this may have had the same feelings throughout your life.  As Christians, we live in this world but should not be “of” it.  We are called to live differently.  We aren’t to conform to the normal standards of the world.  Okay hear me out, rules and laws are just that.  We must abide by those.  And we aren’t to treat being a Christian with spooky behaviors.  What I’m saying is, instead of trying to fit in with the world, we are called to step out, up, and represent Christ.  Our lives are to be a representation of the God we serve.  Stepping out of normal requires confidence, strength, and wisdom…all of which comes from our Father alone.  Not our own philosophies and vain attempts. 

What is it that holds you back from stepping out of normal?

When God Speaks, Listen!

"It's in God's word where we learn the authenticity of His voice."---Lucrecia Slater  

Good morning all. God is so amazing. He truly makes me emotional. I woke up this morning anxious and worried, just feeling some kind of way. I entered into my devotional the same way. I was just kind of sitting there when God lead me to Isaiah...at first I thought to a certain chapter, but I ended up at Isaiah 41:10 (NLT) "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Then I was lead to Psalm 130:5 "I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on Him. I have put my hope in His word." 

God loves us immensely. We can't and never will fathom the depth of that love. He is with us in this process, whatever process you are going through.  He is with us in every step. He will strengthen us and guide us, holding us up with His victorious right hand. In return, we are to count on Him and Him alone. We are to place our hope in His word because He's a man that He cannot lie and whose word does NOT return to Him void.

God speaks to us through various forms.  The most common is through His word.  It's in our devotional time where we take the time to learn His voice.  We, on many occasions, look for God to speak to us in some supernatural, dramatic way...parting the clouds, lightening bolts and thunder.  But in us looking for that, we miss His voice...His still, calm voice (1 Kings 19:11-13). I pray this blesses someone as it did me.

What ways has God spoken to you?  Has He lead you to scriptures that instantly soothed your spirit? 

Life + Billboard=Representation

Here's the thing...what we display to those around us is what we essentially say about ourselves and represent. "Your reputation proceeds you" has come to be one of my favorite quotes (quoted by my husband) because it's loaded with volumes of truth.  As Christians, it's easy to set up an actor's stage before others.  Those of you reading can agree that we see it all of the time, even participated in it at one point. When we get around a certain group (namely church family) we stuff ourselves into our "holy roller" suits and wear it well.  But the thing is, is that we have it misconstrued if we think we can fool people into thinking we represent something and we really don't. As a speaker said yesterday in   church, "we've perfected doing church but failed at representing church."  Because real church happens outside of the walls of the church building...at home, on the job, at the gas station, in school...I think you're getting my point.

Matthew 7:21-23 Not everyone who calls out to me, 'Lord, Lord!' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter.

We are what many people see outside of the walls of the organization of the church.  Some may never step within those walls...and what they see in our lives is what they will get. So many of us perfect lip service but fail miserably at living those words out.  Yes, we all fail because we're all naturally sinners...believers and nonbelievers alike.  However, what separates us, or what should separate us from nonbelievers is our determined effort to live, breathe, and have our being in Jesus Christ (Acts 17:28).

Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Our lives are that billboard (representation).  What we do and how we do it displays the internal truth of our life.  The truth is, if the only reason we become Christians is to avoid hell...then...get ready for this...we might as well stop now, because we're only wasting our time.  I'm not bashing no one because I'm in the pool of the most jacked up.  However, I've committed my life, flaws, and all that I am to the Living God.  Though I may stumble, I choose to get up and continue living according to God's word.  Because again, my life is a billboard.

Our children.  Schoolmates.  Family.  Acquaintances.  Coworkers.  Strangers. Are all exposed to the unspoken message of what we represent.  Yes we are free in Christ, but we shouldn't allow our freedom to cause another person to stumble.  Let's make up in our minds that we will represent Christ to those around us as best as we can!  Be blessed!

Romans 14:13  So let's stop condemning each other.  Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

Better!

Have you ever wondered what good could possibly come out of some of the things you go through?  I have...many, many times.  At one point, I was convinced that how complex my life was, is how it was supposed to be.  But the more I prayed, pondered, and studied God's word, the more I begin to see my life through the lenses of the word.  I began to see that my experiences aren't just for me...but for those I come in contact with.  And I believe the same is true for those reading this.

We won't ever understand to the fullest extent why and how God loves us the way He does.  Instead, we're to trust Him and allow the work He's doing to continue.  Jennie Allen said this, "Fires are lit in our lives through our suffering and they can burn to shine light or cause destruction, we get to decide which purpose they will serve."

All of us have a story to tell.  Somewhere in our lives we've been unfairly hurt, mistreated, abused, and used.  Instead of sulking, pointing fingers, or playing the blame game, trust God to do the work, perfecting our history...which is His Story!  Be blessed! =)

2 Corinthians 1:3-7 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.  God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.  When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has give us.  For the ore we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with His comfort through Christ.  Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you.  Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.  We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

Do you have a story to tell?  Is there someone in your life you feel could benefit and even be blessed by the story of your life?

Attitude is Everything!

So, it’s been a few days since I last blogged.  I tend to go through periods when I need to sit back and evaluate why I do what I do.  My motives behind everything.  And of course when I choose to do that, God in His amazing ways, shows me a kink in my armor.  Well, this time it was/is in the realm of my attitude.

Over the course of my adult life, I developed a nasty attitude.  But it wasn’t an obvious nasty.  It was what I’ve learned to be a “nice nasty.”  You know the kind when you can go off on someone in the kindest and calmest of demeanors and still slice someone’s head off?  Yeah, that’s nice nasty.  That was me.  It didn't matter how cute I looked, dressed, laughed or anything.  My attitude stunk! It took a lot of healing and restorations before I could even remotely come to a place where I no longer harbored that type of attitude.  However, after crossing one hurdle there’s always more.

Ephesians 4:29 (GW) Don’t say anything that would hurt another person.  Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.

My husband and I had a candid conversation this morning.  It was one that I wasn’t prepared for but needed to hear.  Like anyone else, I don’t like when my character is put on the scene.  It just does something to me.  But because my husband is more of a peacemaker and refrains the majority of the time from getting involved in spats with me, I just sat and listened.  His words were loving and piercing at the same time.  Loving because those words come from a good place, though piercing with conviction.  In a nutshell, my attitude still needs some fine tuning.  It’s one thing to know something already, but to hear it from someone else’s mouth adds an extra twist to the already painful pinch…get what I’m saying?

I got just a bit intimate with some details about my relationship with my husband for a very good reason.  You see, in the institution of marriage, God’s intents are to show the world what His relationship with us should look like.  Now of course there are many variables where marriage today looks nothing like what God intended, but I’m going to leave that there.  But in this case of attitude, we all could use a bit of help.

Proverbs 31:11-12 (NLT) Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Ladies, we’re not called to be the cookie cutter perfect wives to our husbands.  However, we are charged to respect them, honor them, safeguard and protect them.  We want our husbands to trust that they can come and talk to us…sometimes about some not so pleasant things.  We want to present to them through our attitudes, that we care enough to consider them and their feelings in the process of communication.  We can't expect our men to open up to us when every time they attempt we bite, chew, and spit their emotions out right in front of their faces.  Men included, we are all commanded as Christians to check our attitudes when dealing with each other…especially with our spouses.  Not only does a bad or negative attitude deflate and shut down every positive mood in the home, but it opens the doors for other unwanted influences.

There will be times when offense is unavoidable.  Regardless to how something is spoken, there will almost always be someone offended in the process.  But as a married couple, maturity of communication has to grow.  The attitude has to be checked at its onset.  Otherwise, all we do is welcome in everything else to take residence in our relationship.

We can’t change the other person, but we can make an effort to change ourselves.  A healthy marriage is a blessed one.  We can do this! And enjoy being married!!  =) Be blessed!!

James 1:19 (AMP) Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.

Trust. The. Process.

Proverbs 3:5,6 (NIV) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on yuor own understanding; in all your ways, submit to Him and He will give make your paths straight.

Since last night, I've felt like there was/is a huge weight on my chest.  My thoughts are all over the place.  When I woke up this morning, I wasn't in my usual peaceful solitude.  My mind was reeling.  Matter of fact, I don't even think it shut down while I slept.  Do I sound crazy?  Maybe.  But if you're like me...where God has shown you something and you become anxious.  He's shown you "dots" or "puzzle pieces" to what He wants you to do.  But none of the dots connect.  None of the puzzle pieces fit.  You wonder to yourself, "Lord, I'm doing all I know to do. Why am I not understanding any of this?"  If you can relate, just nod your head...because I'm sure that I'm not alone in this.

But see, here's the problem.  When God shows us something, we're ready to take off and run.  That extra surge of energy, adrenaline, motivation or whatever we choose to call it kicks in.  We jump head first into the direction we "think" God wants us to go.  However, many times through God showing us what He's calling us to do, a process follows.  And I'm not going to try to put on my bible scholar hat here.  Only tell from what's happening to me and hopefully we can all relate in this quandary of mine.  

Just because He has shown us a glimpse of something doesn't mean we're ready to embark.  Timing is everything. God has made everything beautiful in its time, a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1,11).   But He also knows that there are processes He  take us through necessary for our growth and preparation.  He knows we will never be perfect beings while living here on earth in this corrupted flesh.  However, we can be as blameless as possible.  **Insert**  Blameless by the way, does NOT mean we will be SINLESS, but that we will SIN LESS (Isn't God awesome). But it's on us to allow Him to make it happen. 

 Psalm 119:1 says "How happy are those whose way is blameless, who live according to the Lord's instruction!"

Above trying to immediately jump in and do what God has called us to do...well, because first, for starters, God wouldn't have called us and showed us bits and pieces of anything if He didn't see we were qualified.  He's known us from the before the beginning of our lives.  So there's no need of us trying to reinvent a wheel or somehow make ourselves dignified for the call.  Instead, we should humbly trust the process.  

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

It's not easy by  a long shot to wait on God.  And some of what He takes us through we'd rather find a way to go around it or skip it altogether.  But what I'm seeing is that the tests God brings me to are catered to what He has called me to do.  In this test, there's no "skipping the question." We say we trust in God.  We say we hold on to the faith we profess.  Well in doing so, lets understand this....God knows we will become weary in doing good.  Weary in the process.  Weary in the good fight.  However, because God is able, He will and does renew our strength, giving us wings to soar on like eagles (Isaiah 40:31).  He will allow us to reap a harvest if we don't give up (Galatians 6:9).

So what's the thing you struggle with?  Where do you find yourself becoming anxious in some of the things God has shown you?

Remove the Weights, Be Free!

You know, it's one thing when we allow the weight of a grudge, bitterness, unforgiveness, or resentment hold us down.  But it becomes a whole different issue when we allow those negative roots to seep into the lives of others.  

Choosing to forgive and let things go is a process.  A difficult one, especially if the offense is traumatic.  But when we choose not to forgive, it does more damage to just us.  

Think of a tree…how it's all pretty and grand on top of the ground.  As you begin to dig beneath the surface, you discover that tree's roots.  Depending on the tree, those roots can be as thick as the trunk on top.  They (roots) can run deep...so deep that it stifles the growth of other plants around it.  It sucks up all the nutrients necessary for life around it.  But yet and still, that tree stands firm, looking good, and not giving two thoughts about the damage it's causing to what's around it.

That's the same way we are when we give little to no thought about the damage we do to others around us when we harbor unforgiveness.  We say wrong things to people...even the ones we love.  We shoot deadly rounds out of our mouths, killing everyone we come in contact with. What's even worse is they never know what warranted the mistreatment.  When all along, it's something nasty and dark brewing on the inside of us.  Sucking our life, happiness, and peace away.

Some things I understand will take time.  Forgiveness is not an overnight fix.  But we have to make every effort to heal and allow forgiveness to take place.  "Well, you don't know what I've been through!"  You might say.  True indeed.  Neither do you know what I've been through.  However, I know the power of forgiveness.  I know that I have two choices.  One, stay bitter and slowly kill myself while the one who brought the offense lives life to the fullest.  Or, I can choose to free myself from being my own prisoner by forgiving and receiving healing. I’ll be transparent and say some things I’m not all the way there yet.  But with other things, I have been freed indeed.

None of us have all of the answers to why things happen to us the way they do.  But I know what the bible says and it says that we should forgive as our Father has forgiven us our sins.  We're not walking around here on entitled time...but rather borrowed! We can be here one minute and gone the next.  Don't let the time that we have at this moment be wasted on seeing how long we can hold a grudge towards somebody. 

Ephesians 4:31 (NCV) Do not be bitter or angry or mad.  Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others.  Never do anything evil.  Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ.

Hebrews 12:15(NLT) Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God.  Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.

Family...Not Perfect...But Beautiful...And a Gift!

~~~~~1 Timothy 5:8(NCV) Whoever does not care for his own relatives, especially his own family members, has turned against the faith and is worse than someone who does not believe in God.~~~~~

So today was the day that will definitely go down in books for me.  Have you ever had an event, an experience, or a day to happen that was so awesome that you didn't want it to end?  Well, yeah that's what I had.  

For the past four days we've pretty much been snowed in from the Arctic temperatures that swept most of the east coast. Temperatures have plummeted and are still dropping into the negatives.  But today, my family and I didn't let that stop us from some much needed "spontaneous fun."  We decided to bundle up (in layers of course), puff our chests out, and brave the snow.  And boy was that a decision we absolutely DO NOT regret!!!

Snow balls, snow bombs, snow angels, snow fights, snowmen, you name it...we did it.  Everyone from my husband (oldest) down to our little bundle of joy (2yr old daughter) laughed and clapped our hands in happiness.  I tried capturing as many moments as I could on my camera...but aside from being blasted by snow bombs, I just wanted to look on through the lenses of my own eyes.  I wanted to gaze at the beautiful gifts God had blessed and privileged me with.  Those moments, though caught on camera, would only last temporarily.  But every memory I formed in my mind could never be erased or taken away from me.

To give you a tidbit of back story about me...I didn't have this.  The genuine, authentic, deep love wasn't there in my family.  Dysfunction, discord, and chaos pretty much had its say so.  I determined in my young mind that if I were to ever live to have a family of my own one day, that I would do my best to ensure that every member felt the love I so deeply kept within me.  And I've been doing just that.

~~~~~Psalm 103: 7 (But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who Him.  His salvation extends to the children's children of those who are faithful to His covenant...~~~~~

We aren't a perfect family.  We fuss and argue.  We have heated moments.  We work each other's nerves. But one thing we are learning is how to allow the love of God to saturate us and be displayed towards others.  

~~~~~1 John 4:16b (NLT) God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.~~~~~

So I leave you with this...love your family.  Don't just say you love them.  But really, really love them.  Love them through their imperfections.  Love them through their faults.  Love them through their frailties.  Thank God for each and every member of your family unit.  If you have children, enjoy and celebrate the uniqueness each one has.  And most of all...HAVE FUN!!!! Be blessed!!

~~~~~Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.  Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior's hands. How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates.~~~~~

**NOTE**I understand that not everyone has a "biological" family...and that's okay.  God is so amazing in His ways...He knows who we need and who needs us.  So embrace those you call family and who calls you family and consider yourself blessed also =)

Hot, Cold, or Nothing at All!

Revelation 3:15,16 (NLT) "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold.  I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!"

It was December 1999, and I landed in Germany, fresh off the plane.  I had just completed my training for the Army and my first duty station was Europe.  I was days from turning 19 and boy was I ready to celebrate!  I had no one telling me what to do (mother) or kids to watch after (siblings).  I was free and ready to live life!! It didn't take me long to navigate the culture and gain some friends to party with.  The culture was rich and diverse and I wanted to explore it all as well as party as much as I could. 

Back at home, I left a life of church and a pretty religious family.  But my mom, being a single mom, raised us with a tight rope.  We were sheltered from everything...no dances.  No get together with friends.  Barely any phone conversations with friends.  And much more.  So leaving not only my home, but the continental United States was liberating.  

One day, while at work, I was jamming to one of my favorite R&B groups at the time. This guy walked over to my desk.  I had heard of him, real spiritual guy.  And from some of the conversations I'd heard him in, I could tell he was also very straight forward.  Without hesitation, he sat at my desk (unwelcomed) and pulled his bible out of his bag and plopped open on my desk.  He turned to Revelation 3:15, 16.  He asked me to read it.  After looking at him for a minute like he was crazy, I read it and shrugged my shoulders.  Without skipping a beat his next comment/question was "If you die right now, where would you go heaven or hell?" What kind of a question was that?  He had some nerve!  He stared me square in my eye...and me matching his stare...I said with confidence "heaven!"  He went on to give me a sermon/lecture right there in the office...at my desk.  

Of course I couldn't have been more wrong in my entire life.  In ignorance and smug confidence I had no idea what I was talking about.  Knowing what I know now, there was no possible way I was ever going to heaven or anywhere close to it with one foot in the club of way and the other in the church.  

  I've been born again for some years now...but this blog came about as the result of one of my devotion lessons and me having flashbacks of my conversation with the gentleman.  What strikes me is that many people have the that same misconceived notion that I had back then... we can do what we want, live how we want and and as long as we believe in God, we'll go to heaven.  Now hear me out, I'm not here to judge anybody.  That's not my job.  I don't have a heaven or hell to put anyone in.  However, I can tell what the bible says and one can take it for what it's worth.

1 John 2:3-4 (NLT) "And we can be sure that we know Him if we obey His commandments.  If someone claims, 'I know God,' but doesn't obey God's commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth."

Being a Christian doesn't exempt us from sin.  Being a Christian doesn't mean we grow wings and float above problems and issues.  Being a Christian doesn't mean we become saints and quote scriptures all day.  I could go on but I'm sure by now you catch what I'm saying.  Even as Christians, we will fall, stumble, make mistakes and sin.  However, the difference is when we make a constant effort to allow the sting of conviction to cleanse us from unrighteousness and continue in our pursuit towards Jesus Christ.  It took me many years and many failed attempts to realize that I was lying to myself.  The only thing that remotely reflected a life for Christ were my words.  

Matthew 7:16a (NLT) You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act...

Bottom line is we are either going to be hot or cold for God.  There are no grey areas in Him.  If you haven't done so already, let today be the day to decide that you will strive to be hot for God.  And know this, you will stumble.  You will trip.  You will sin. Because none of us are perfect.  Don't let that be a deterrent to your final destination.  We are in this together.  Be blessed!!  

Until Yet Comes...

Yet (adverb)- up until the present or a specified or implied time; implies an action for a future time. (Google Definition, 2015).

You know, this is going to sound funny..But I'm willing to share because I believe this will bless somebody.  

I'm a stay at home mom to a bouncy, energetic 2 1/2 year old.  One of her favorite television shows (and quite frankly our morning ritual) is Sesame Street.  Well, on one of the episodes, the singer Janelle Monae sang a song called "The Power of Yet."  It was (admittedly) very catchy and of course my baby girl loved it.  Thanks to Directv dvr (digital video recording), I was able to rewind, rewind, rewind.  Around the 3rd rewind, I realize I had I misunderstood what Janelle was saying.

Her words became clearer.  I thought she was saying "yes" instead of "yet." After the song went off, that was it.  Or so I thought.  One of the funny things about God is how He will use any situation to get our attention and teach from it...but the catch is, will we "catch" it?  I did.  It was a couple of days ago that I got taught yet another lesson.

The word "yet" is very common in our vernacular. I'm almost positive we don't hold any weight or thought to it.  But the more I studied it, the more the pieces of this puzzle began to come together. Yet saves the space for something to come.  That thing that hasn't happened yet but is on it's way.  For Christians, that's where our faith comes into play.  

Hebrews 11:1(AMP) "NOW FAITH is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of the things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].   

Yet doesn't put the final "STAMP" on the sentence.  Yet leaves room for hope.  Hear me out, I understand that some people lose hope because the worst of the worst has happened or change seems like never.  But the truth is, yet makes room for development, change, and improvement.  I will definitely be the one to testify, attest, and be a witness to this.  

Many time I blog, it's out of an experience I've encountered or a hard lesson I had to learn.  This is one of them.  It's easy for us to confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and that His word is truth and stands forever.  It's easy until we are faced with something that blows tornado-like winds in our lives.  But what I've seen...   

1 Corinthians 2:9 (GW) "But as scripture says: 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love Him."  

Every scripture implies that though things seem bleak, God has made everything beautiful for its appointed time.  Some things He withholds to teach us, test us, correct us, or train us.  It's in the word yet that keeps us going strong.  Holding on to the faith we profess.

I'll reiterate this, I've been through my share of heartaches, ups, downs, blows, disappointments and everything else...in the middle of something as I type.  But my encouragement to you as I encourage myself, is don't give up.  Allow God to help you build a stronger, firmer foundation of faith.  In the meantime...believe in the power of YET....be blessed!!