Show Them Who They Are Through You...

Before I dive in, I want to say two things:  THIS IS LONG…and that I will be speaking on content that is, I guess, not commonly talked about.  But I think that’s where the problem lies.  We don’t talk enough about the right things! I've found that many (not all) people are one of three extremes:  the hard left (too out of touch to talk about real life), the hard right (too busy trying to be like everybody else) or neither (because they’re in denial).  But when someone discusses something of sense and importance, it’s overboard, boring, too much or whatever.  (Shrugs shoulders) Oh well…I’m talking anyway.

So I have two girls.  One well into her teenage years and the other, fresh into toddler-hood.  My baby has pretty much grasped being potty trained (yay, thank God, no more pampers)!! Now, I’m working on teaching her the proper way to wipe.  Bless her heart, she’ll eventually get it…In this process though, I was lead to some thoughts.

Growing up, I was taught very little on the proper way to take care of myself and successfully enter into womanhood.  My mother was more of the threatening type than the helping type.  Just about everything I inquired about warranted a harsh response from her.  Because of her neglect to teach me, I endured very painful, embarrassing incidents throughout life.  Through the years, I learned from other women, research, and experience of how to take care of myself and what it meant to respect myself.

As women raising daughters or being a woman of influence in a girl’s life, it’s vital that we teach them how to successfully transition from girl to woman.  Anyone reading this know, growing up there was that one girl or person we saw in magazines, music videos, or movies that we just “had” to be like.  #Truth, I just KNEW I was Aaliyah!  I knew ALL of her dances moves, songs, her bio, everything!!  We all go through it.  Cool.  A part of growing up.  I get that.  The problem develops when there are no talks about being true to who we are, value, worth, boundaries, and standards.  The problem develops when women neglect to pour into their girls, nuggets of wisdom and knowledge.  So that when those same girls grow up, they won’t be so quick to follow after the trends, lower their standards, or subtract from their value.

Even if we don’t want to, we can’t help but see and know what’s going on out there in social media world.  The only way to not know is live under some rocks.  Every single day, girls are involving themselves in some stupid “challenge” or participating in dangerous behaviors just because of who they see on television. Celebrities on television display some of the most asinine behaviors and start trends…Guess who’s here in the “real world” following suit?  Yep, you guessed right…OUR girls.  Thigh gap.  Big lip challenge.  Misbehavior.  And I’m sure the list goes on...

I’m not saying we’ll be able to catch every little thing.  Because even my daughter has gotten caught up in the hype.  However, I believe the reason why she hasn't gone completely out there, is because of what we teach her at home.  Deuteronomy 6:6-9 says, “And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.  Repeat them again and again to your children.  Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.”  This isn't a suggestion, but rather a command given to us as parents, women, mentors, or any level of influence, to point our children in the right direction through Christ.  Because our girls are looking at us…LADIES!  They are looking for the standard.  It has to start with us.

Okay, I know some of you reading this are like “dang, it’s not that serious!”  “Let them grow up! They have to learn!”  “Weren't you once a teenager?”  Well here’s my answer: Yes, it is that serious. Weeds grow wild and eventually are plucked up and destroyed.  And yes I was a teenager, THAT’S why I’m sending out this message!  In that order!!  Look, I get some will not agree with what I’m saying.  And that’s totally fine.  However, I’m not going to sit around and be hushed face because the matter is serious!  Girls are succumbing to the grips of the world and it’s on us to make a difference!  Men, if you’re reading this, I encourage you to jump on the bandwagon.  But I will say that the buck eventually stops at some point because a man can NEVER teach a girl how to be a woman (and vice versa).  Give her tips, advice, suggestions, yes I’m all for it.  But women, grown women need to rise up!  Titus 2 gives a charge for the older women to teach the younger women how to live, treat their husband and children.  Before they can ever reach that level, they must first learn how to be women.

I know this was long…and I really appreciate you staying with me to the end, but I really would like for you to think about the influence you have in a young lady’s life…whether you are that young girl’s mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, or just an authority/mentor figure in her life.  Talk to her.  Learn her.  Understand where she’s coming from.  What’s going on in her life.  Because if you don’t, someone else will…and you’ll regret the day you missed your opportunity.  Be blessed!!