Attitude is Everything!

So, it’s been a few days since I last blogged.  I tend to go through periods when I need to sit back and evaluate why I do what I do.  My motives behind everything.  And of course when I choose to do that, God in His amazing ways, shows me a kink in my armor.  Well, this time it was/is in the realm of my attitude.

Over the course of my adult life, I developed a nasty attitude.  But it wasn’t an obvious nasty.  It was what I’ve learned to be a “nice nasty.”  You know the kind when you can go off on someone in the kindest and calmest of demeanors and still slice someone’s head off?  Yeah, that’s nice nasty.  That was me.  It didn't matter how cute I looked, dressed, laughed or anything.  My attitude stunk! It took a lot of healing and restorations before I could even remotely come to a place where I no longer harbored that type of attitude.  However, after crossing one hurdle there’s always more.

Ephesians 4:29 (GW) Don’t say anything that would hurt another person.  Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.

My husband and I had a candid conversation this morning.  It was one that I wasn’t prepared for but needed to hear.  Like anyone else, I don’t like when my character is put on the scene.  It just does something to me.  But because my husband is more of a peacemaker and refrains the majority of the time from getting involved in spats with me, I just sat and listened.  His words were loving and piercing at the same time.  Loving because those words come from a good place, though piercing with conviction.  In a nutshell, my attitude still needs some fine tuning.  It’s one thing to know something already, but to hear it from someone else’s mouth adds an extra twist to the already painful pinch…get what I’m saying?

I got just a bit intimate with some details about my relationship with my husband for a very good reason.  You see, in the institution of marriage, God’s intents are to show the world what His relationship with us should look like.  Now of course there are many variables where marriage today looks nothing like what God intended, but I’m going to leave that there.  But in this case of attitude, we all could use a bit of help.

Proverbs 31:11-12 (NLT) Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Ladies, we’re not called to be the cookie cutter perfect wives to our husbands.  However, we are charged to respect them, honor them, safeguard and protect them.  We want our husbands to trust that they can come and talk to us…sometimes about some not so pleasant things.  We want to present to them through our attitudes, that we care enough to consider them and their feelings in the process of communication.  We can't expect our men to open up to us when every time they attempt we bite, chew, and spit their emotions out right in front of their faces.  Men included, we are all commanded as Christians to check our attitudes when dealing with each other…especially with our spouses.  Not only does a bad or negative attitude deflate and shut down every positive mood in the home, but it opens the doors for other unwanted influences.

There will be times when offense is unavoidable.  Regardless to how something is spoken, there will almost always be someone offended in the process.  But as a married couple, maturity of communication has to grow.  The attitude has to be checked at its onset.  Otherwise, all we do is welcome in everything else to take residence in our relationship.

We can’t change the other person, but we can make an effort to change ourselves.  A healthy marriage is a blessed one.  We can do this! And enjoy being married!!  =) Be blessed!!

James 1:19 (AMP) Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry.