Random...But Painfully True Thought...

For a couple of weeks I've been doing one of the YouVersion Bible app plans.  I love the diversity of those plans and how in-depth some are.  I chose a plan from someone I had never heard of before...Jennie Allen.  The name of her plan is "Discover God's Dream For You."  That plan was the catalyst that set some wheels in motion in my life.  If you choose to read that plan, you won't be disappointed!  

Well, in reading this plan, some real, but hurtful truths came up about my relationship with God.  I was pressed and compelled to visit those truths because I desire to grow more in my relationship with Him.  I don't want to just have a "head knowledge" of who He is.  But like many, I'm sure, I want to know more of Him.  His heart.  So I went there.  And what I learned was hurtful but true indeed.

It's become so easy to speak things from our mouths that we give no true regard to.  We don't realize the weight that those words carry.  Because, well they sound good, right?  They are strong enough to convince others that we have "arrived."  That we're "so deep."  Then God strategically places something in our path that makes us confront every word we uttered about Him.  He causes us to see the shallow spots in our "confessions."  That's what happened to me.  

Now my relationship with God has grown tremendously over the years.  I've shared on some of my blogs how God delivered me from some painful experiences and saved me from death and myself. But this new exposure was something different.  How far am I willing to go when I say "I need God more than anything?"  How much do I really love God above all else?  Am I really, for real seeking Him or am I subconsciously deceiving myself to thinking this?  Now I know some may read this and say "wow, chill out...it's not that serious!"  But to me, it is!  

I don't have working knowledge that God is real to me.  I KNOW He's real!  He's an invisible God that has been throughout my life before my life was ever etched into existence. I've been brought to this crossroad because I feel that God is wanting more of and from me.  Not to make my life miserable here on earth.  But rather the opposite...to bring abundance of joy, peace, love, and prosperity.  That all has to come with a price though.  Complete and total surrender and dependence on Him.  That's extremely difficult for the majority of us...even the most devout of Christians. Because let's face it, we love our families.  We love our homes.  We love our jobs (well some of us). And the love list goes on and on...We relentlessly chase after those things which will one day tear up, wear out, be destroyed or somehow taken away from us.  But the things of God lasts for eternity. That's what He's calling for us to strive for.  For eternity.  And that's where my frailty lies.

I became torn this morning at that thought.  "God I haven't surrendered my all to You.  I've given You lip service when You desired my committed heart."  Now that I've been exposed to this truth, I'm accountable for what I do with it.  God is a gentleman and He won't force Himself on us.  He gives us an option to serve and love Him with all of our hearts, souls, and strength (Deuteronomy 6:4,5).  Regardless to what comes out of our mouths, God looks past that and straight at the heart. For it's the heart that He searches and knows(1 Samuel 16:7; Jeremiah 17:9,10).  He knows when we are only speaking to "check the block."  Isaiah 29:13 says "And so the Lord says, “These people say they are mine.  They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote." (rote meaning mechanical or habitual repetition of something learned).

I want to encourage you by the truth I discovered about myself.   In one aspect, it's a big "OUCH" but in another it's something to be thankful for because God loves us so much that He's willing to help us in our frailties and weaknesses.  Take the truth of whatever it is God reveals to you and act on it.  Change won't and doesn't come over night.  But as Proverbs 3:5, 6 says, trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart and lean NOT on YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING.  Seek wisdom for how God might usher you into a deeper understanding of yourself and your unique relationship with Him.  Stay encouraged and be blessed! :)